Thinking about surrogacy or co-parenting? Where do you start?
Knowing you want to become a parent is one thing. Knowing exactly how you're going to get there can be something else entirely.
For some people, the route to parenthood is straightforward. For others, it may involve exploring options they hadn't originally considered, including surrogacy or co-parenting.
If you're at that stage, you don't necessarily need to have everything worked out before you begin.
Start with what you want
The first step might simply be understanding what becoming a parent means to you. This can take time and that’s okay.
What kind of family do you want to build? What role do you want to have as a parent? What might you need from the person or people who could be part of that journey?
You may have clear answers to some of these questions and be less certain about others. That's completely normal. Exploring your options can help you understand what might work for you.
Understand the different routes
Surrogacy and co-parenting are different ways of building a family, and there is no single route that will suit everyone.
With surrogacy, Intended Parent(s) and a Surrogate work together to bring a child into the world, with the intention that the Intended Parent(s) will raise the child.
Co-parenting is different. It involves people who want to become parents together without their relationship being based on romance.
There are also different ways that conception and parenthood might happen within either route. You don't need to decide all of this at the outset.
Start meeting people
Once you have begun to understand what you're looking for, the next step can be connecting with people who are on a similar journey.
That's where Rainbow comes in.
The Rainbow app provides a place for people considering surrogacy or co-parenting to meet others, learn from their experiences and begin conversations with potential matches. It's an opportunity to start exploring, without committing to a particular route or person.
Take time to get to know someone
Finding someone who appears to be a good match is only the beginning. Whether you're considering a potential surrogate or a co-parent, there are important conversations to have before deciding whether you want to move forward together.
You might want to talk about your expectations, values, family life, geography, finances, communication and the role each person hopes to have.
Some of those conversations may be easy. Others may be more difficult. Taking your time gives you the opportunity to understand each other properly and decide whether you feel comfortable continuing the conversation.
Get the right advice
As your plans become more serious, independent professional advice can be an important part of the journey. The legal, medical and practical considerations will depend on your circumstances and the route you decide to take towards parenthood.
Rainbow's role isn't to replace that advice or tell you which decisions to make. The app is there to help you find people with whom you can begin those conversations.
You don't have to know the ending yet
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that exploring your options doesn't mean you have already decided what your family will look like. You can take your time. Ask questions. Meet people. Learn from their experiences.
And if you find someone you feel you could start your journey to parenthood with, you decide what happens next.
Rainbow helps people make that first connection. What comes after is something you can explore together.
